You Go And You Buy A Lottery

We Spoke To God About The Children, And We Were Afraid To Ask God For Specific Things. We Thought That It Might Be Too Much. So We Said To God 'please Give Us A Healthy Child' And Left It At That, Not Knowing That God Is A Generous God, But Also Has A Sense Of Humor. And If You Leave That Much Open For God, Some Wonderful Jokes Are Going To Come About.

A Father... Knows Exactly What Those Boys At The Mall Have In Their Depraved Little Minds Because He Once Owned Such A Depraved Little Mind Himself. In Fact, If He Thinks Enough About The Plans That He Used To Have For Young Girls, The Father Not Only Will Support His Wife In Keeping Their Daughter Home But He Might Even Run Over To The Mall And Have A Few Of Those Boys Arrested.

A New Father Quickly Learns That His Child Invariably Comes To The Bathroom At Precisely The Times When He's In There, As If He Needed Company. The Only Way For This Father To Be Certain Of Bathroom Privacy Is To Shave At The Gas Station.

A Hoyo De Monterrey Double Corona Is My Favourite Cuban Since Desi Arnaz.

People Will Frighten You About A Graduation....they Use Words You Don't Hear Often.