You Go And You Buy A Lottery

Racial Humor Was About 35% Of My Act When I First Started. But I Realized That It Was A Crutch. What Brought It Home Was When Another Comedian Said To Me, 'if You Changed Color Tomorrow, You Wouldn't Have Any Material.' He Meant It As A Put-down, But I Took It As A Challenge.

Public Education Is A Good Foundation On Which To Build A Better Life For Each Of Us. And If We Want To Prove To These Children Who Never Made The Mess In The First Place That Education Is Worth The Trouble, Our Schools Have To Inspire Them So They Can Do What They Ought To Do.

Have You Ever Had A Cookie? Then You Won't Get Any Here Either.

Why Do I Have To Feed The Kids? They Just Ate Twelve Hours Ago!

A Baseball Manager Has Learned A Lot About His Job From Having Played The Game, But A Parent Has Not Learned A Thing From Having Once Been A Child.