You Go And You Buy A Lottery

We Parents Ask Dumb Questions, Therefore We Get Dumb Answers.

I'm Going Out... Because I Deserve To Go Out! And I'm Going To Get Drunk... Because I Deserve To Get Drunk! And Get Out Of My Way!

If The Audience Knows You Can Be Funny When You Want To Be, They Will Be Willing To Wait For That Payoff.

What Is It About Grandparents That Is So Lovely? I'd Like To Say That Grandparents Are God's Gifts To Children.

I Use The Exercise Room Early, Because I Don't Want To Get On The Treadmill And Everyone's Going 'oh, Bill Cosby,' And Then They Come Around To See How Fast I'm Walking, And It Becomes Very Competitive.