You Feel Like Telling Him You're Not

It Takes A Level Of Creative Depression To Hear 'girls Just Wanna Have Fun' And Weep.

Insomniacs Tend To Fall Into Two General Categories - Those Who Give Up And Those Who Don't. I Don't. I Refuse To Admit Defeat By Turning On The Light. I Will Not Try To Read Or Watch A Movie, Thank You. Productivity Is A Crutch Of The Weak.

I Attended An Extremely Small Liberal Arts School. There Were Approximately 1,600 Of Us Roaming Our New England Campus On A Good Day. My High School Was Bigger. My Freshman Year Hourly Calorie Intake Was Bigger.

I Used To Think That Nails-down-a-chalkboard Was The Worst Sound In The World. Then I Moved On To People-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But Only This Week Did I Stumble Across The Rightful Winner: It's The Sound Of A Baggage Carousel Coming To A Grinding Halt, Having Reunited Every Passenger On Your Flight With Their Luggage, Except For You.

You Know What They Say: 'why Sit At A Table That Doesn't Have Key Lime Pie On It If You Don't Have To?'