You Can't Really Conduct Your Life By

Nothing I Do Is Done By Popular Demand.

I've Put An Umbrella In My Mouth And Opened It. I Sat In A Lemon-meringue Pie. I've Done Terrible Things To My Dog With A Fork.

I Thought 'borat' Was A Breakthrough Comedy, Because It Was Really Funny. It Wasn't Some Studio-produced Script With 14 Writers.

What Is Comedy? Comedy Is The Art Of Making People Laugh Without Making Them Puke.

I'm For The Wall Street Occupiers. But Will They Accept Me When They Find Out I Sell Packaged Mortgage Default Instruments To Children?