You Can't Please Everybody All The Time,

The Game's In The Refrigerator, The Door's Closed, The Light's Out, The Eggs Are Cooling, The Butter's Getting Hard And The Jell-o's Jiggling.

Portland Can Put The Champagne Away And Get Out The Bottled Water, 'cause That's All They're Gonna Drink On Their Way Home!

You Can't Please Everybody All The Time, But You Can Please A Majority.

Anybody Who Doesn't Think I Want The Lakers To Win Is A Fool. But I'm No Homer.

I Always Like To Pretend Two Things: One, I'm Sitting In The Seat Beside You Watching The Game Together. I'll Say, 'wasn't That A Great Shot? Boy, It Sure Was.' The Other Thing I Do Is Pretend I'm Talking To People Who Are Non-sighted. I Try To Create A Word Picture. I Get More Mail From Blind People Thanking Me.