You Can Only Control Your Own Actions.

I'm Going To Keep Seeing Him As Much As I Can. We'll See What Happens," I Say, Realizing That Just "seeing What Happens" Is My Version Of "going For It.

In The Final Seconds Before Sleep, I Wish I Could Go Back And Undo Everything, Give Those Little Girls Another Chance.

As Everyone Applauds And Sips Champagne, I Smile Back At Rachel, Thinking She Got It Just Right. Love And Friendship. They Are What Makes Us Who We Are And What Can Change Us, If We Let Them.

But I Have Learned That You Make Your Own Happiness, That Part Of Going For What You Want Means Losing Something Else. And When The Stakes Are High, The Losses Can Be That Much Greater.

Throughout The Ordeal, I Learned That Getting Mad Was Easier Than Being Sad. Anger Was Something I Could Control. I Could Settle Into An Easy Rhythm Of Blame And Hate. Focus My Energy On Something Than The Ache In My Heart.