You Can Easily Tell If A Person

I Can Do More Than Just Stand-up Comedy, And The Only Way I'll Be Able To Show That Is If I Do It Myself. Because Nobody Trusts That I Can Do It.

You Have To Have A Strong Sense Of Humor To Date Me, And Also Know That You're Probably Going To Be A Part Of The Routine Quite A Bit.

I'm Willing To Write A Check For $10,000 If Someone Can Bring To Me What I Fell Is Ruining Thousands Of Lives, Destroying Lives Everyday. And I Know That You Know It's A Little Thing Called Chupacabra.

When You Get Hit By A Car Sometimes Your Shoes Will Fly Off, Sometimes Your Pants Will Come Off, But I Was Not Fortunate Enough To See The Pants Portion.

Sometimes, When You Want To Make A Difference In A Person's Life, Stay Out Of It.