Yes, I Am A Failed Playwright. I

"we’ll Never Survive!” “nonsense. You’re Only Saying That Because No One Ever Has."

[prince Humperdinck] Was Seventy-five Minutes Away From His First Female Murder, And He Wondered If He Could Get His Fingers To Her Throat Before Even The Start Of A Scream. He Had Been Practicing On Giant Sausages All The Afternoon And Had The Movements Down Pretty Pat, But Then, Giant Sausages Weren’t Necks And All The Wishing In The World Wouldn’t Make Them So.

I Love You, I Know This Must Come As Something Of A Surprise, Since All I’ve Ever Done Is Scorn You And Degrade You And Taunt You, But I Have Loved You For Several Hours Now, And Every Second, More. I Thought An Hour Ago That I Loved You More Than Any Woman Has Ever Loved A Man, But A Half Hour After That I Knew That What I Felt Before Was Nothing Compared To What I Felt Then. But Ten Minutes After That, I Understood That My Previous Love Was A Puddle Compared To The High Seas Before A Storm.

For You See Each Day I Love You More Today More Than Yesterday And Less Than Tomorrow. Just Because You're Beautiful And Perfect, It's Made You Conceited.

Fool!" Cried The Hunchback. "you Fell Victim To One Of The Classic Blunders. The Most Famous Is 'never Get Involved In A Land War In Asia,' But Only Slightly Less Well Known Is This: 'never Go In Against A Sicilian When Death Is On The Line.