Writers Who Have Nothing To Say Always

Americans Respect Talent Only Insofar As It Leads To Fame, And We Reserve Our Most Fervent Admiration For Famous People Who Destroy Their Lives As Well As Their Talent. The Fatal Flaws Of Elvis, Judy, And Marilyn Register Much Higher On Our National Applause Meter Than Their Living Achievements. In Amerca, Talent Is Merely A Tool For Becoming Famous In Life So You Can Become More Famous In Death - Where All Are Equal.

The Copyeditor I Drew Was A Brachycephalic, Web-footed Cretin Who Should Have Been In An Institution Learning How To Make Brooms.

Self-help Books Are Making Life Downright Unsafe. Women Desperate To Catch A Man Practice All The Ploys Recommended By These Authors. Bump Into Him, Trip Over Him, Knock Him Down, Spill Something On Him, Scald Him, But Meet Him.

A Cardinal Rule Of Writing Is Never Interrupt Yourself To Explain Something. If You Must Bring Up An Obscure Topic, Drop Informative Hints About It As You Go Along So That You Don't End Up With The Entire Explanation All In One Place. This Keeps You From Skidding To A Stop And Sounding Teacherish. Otherwise It's Better To Omit The Obscure Topic Altogether, Or As Mothers Might Put It: If You Can't Say It Interestingly, Don't Say It At All.

Why Do I Hate People? Who Else Is There To Hate?