Writers Don't Retire. I Will Always Be

Computers May Save Time But They Sure Waste A Lot Of Paper. About 98 Percent Of Everything Printed Out By A Computer Is Garbage That No One Ever Reads.

I Often Pass A Farm With Cows Grazing In The Field And I Think To Myself How Terrible It Is That Human Beings Grow Other Animals Just To Kill Them And Eat Them. Most Of Us Think Of Vegetarians As Nuts And I'm Not A Vegetarian But I Wouldn't Be Surprised If We Came To A Time In 50 Or 100 Years When Civilized People Everywhere Refused To Eat Animals.

The Best Thing About A Vacation Is Planning It.

I Think Dan [rather] Is Transparently Liberal. Now He May Not Like To Hear Me Say That. I Always Agree With Him, Too. But I Think He Should Be More Careful.

The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.