Women Get A Little More Excited About

Johnny Walker, The American That Fought For The Taliban, Is Now Talking With An Arabic Accent. Have You Heard Him? It's Ridiculous. I Know How We Should Handle Him. Let's Bring Him Back Here And Take Him To Cleveland Browns Stadium And Dress Him Up As A Referee. They'll Know How To Take Care Of Him!

Michele Bachmann Told Reporters That She Will Lead The Nation In Prayer If She Is Elected President. You Know If She Is Elected President, We All Better Be Praying. She Doesn't Have To Lead Us.

That American Taliban Kid Johnny Walker Was Indicted Today. Ten Counts Of Terrorism. He Could Get 5 Life Sentences. In Taliban Terms, That's 360 Virgins.

This Week The White House Proposed Fingerprinting And Photographing Foreign Visitors So They Can Do Background Checks. Officials In Saudi Arabia Said This Will Only Increase Anti-american Feelings In The Mideast. Is That Possible? Gee, You Hate To Have People Dislike Us For No Reason. Things Were Going So Well.

If Arnold Is Elected, You Know Who I'd Feel Sorry For? The People On Death Row. Imagine, You're About To Be Executed, The Governor Calls, You Think It's Your Reprieve, And You Hear 'hasta La Vista, Baby.'