Who The Heck Is Don Quick-oats?

I'll Try To Communicate, Taylor Said. She Spoke Slowly And Deliberately. Hello! We Need Help. Is Your Village Close? My Village Is Denver. And I Think It's A Long Way From Here. I'm Nicole Ade. Miss Colorado. We Have A Colorado Where We're From Too! Tiara Said. She Swiveled Her Hips, Spread Her Arms Wide, Then Brought Her Hands Together Prayer-style And Bowed. Kipa Aloha. Nicole Stared. I Speak English. I'm American. Also, Did You Learn Those Moves From Barbie's Hawaiian Vacation Dvd? Ohmigosh, Yes! Do Your People Have That, Too?

So, Now I've Been To See A Drug Counselor Who Told Me I Need To Lay Off The Drugs And Talk About My Feelings, And A Shrink Who Heard What I Had To Say And Immediately Put Me On Drugs.

Gonzo Narrows His Eyes. 'how Often Do You Clean That Thing?' 'every Night,' The Waitress Answers. Her Smile Is Strained. 'that's It? Do You Know How Long It Takes For Listeria To Grow Under Those Hot Lamps, Even With Ice?' Here We Go. 'it Can Happen In Just Five Hours. Five Hours And You've Got The Salad Bar Of Death!' The Waitress Looks Confused. 'from Listerine?

Didn't You Have Any Sadistic Nannies Who Told You These Tales To Keep You Quiet And Well Behaved At Night? Heavens, What's To Become Of The Empire If Governesses Have Lost Their Touch For Scaring The Wits Out Of Their Girls?

If God Has Nothing Better To Do Than Punish Schoolgirls For A Bit Of Tomfoolery, Then I've No Use For God.