Whenever I'm Offered Something, I Always Read

For My Wife And I, The Challenge Is To Not Make Every Day The Best Day Possible Because It's Not Realistic.

I'll Do Whatever I Can Do To Remain Employed. I'm Just Not Precious About Doing Comedy Or Doing Drama. I Never Want To Do Something In Order To Prove To Other People What I Can Do.

I Joined An Improv Group In College, Which Was A Lot Of Fun. After I Graduated, I Moved To Chicago To Try To Get Into The Second City.

It's Nice To Find People Who Live On The Fringe, Finding One Another And She's Just Unrelentingly Funny.

I Was Sort Of Traumatized By Girls In The Third Grade. Because There Was A Girl In My Third Grade Class I Had A Crush On. I Bought Her A Box Of Valentine's Day Chocolate. And I Put It In Her Cubby With A Note That Said Something Like, "i Am Deeply In Love With You, Your Secret Admirer." And I Didn't Sign My Name.