When Your Kids Turn 13, An Alien

You Wouldn't Want To Be Called A Sell-out By Selling A Product. Selling Out Was Frowned On, Whereas Now You Can Major In It At Business School.

I Used To Be A Catholic. I Left Because I Object To Conversion By Concussion. If You Don't Agree With What They Teach, You Get Clobbered Over The Head Until You Do. All That Does Is Change The Shape Of The Head.

Your Assumptions Are Your Windows On The World. Scrub Them Off Every Once In A While Or The Light Won't Come In. If You Challenge Your Own, You Won't Be So Quick To Accept The Unchallenged Assumptions Of Others. You'll Be A Lot Less Likely To Be Caught Up In Bias Or Prejudice Or Be Influenced By People Who Ask You To Hand Over Your Brains, Your Soul Or Your Money Because They Have Everything All Figured Out For You.

I Have Thought About Punching People Out. Sometimes, I've Thought, 'why Don't I Just Act On That Impulse?' But Then, I've Never Hit Anybody In Anger. Hey! I've Never Hit Anybody For Fun.

Musicals Are Hard For Me Because I Got Thrown Out Of The Glee Club In High School, Because I Couldn't Sing In Tune At The Time. I Can Sing In Tune Now, But I Have To Work Really Hard On It To Make Sure That I Don't Exercise One Of My Great Talents, Which Is The Ability To Sing In Three Keys At The Same Time.