When Your Dad's A Cop, Calling 911

When I Exhale, I Just Turn Right Into Louie Anderson.

I Finally Had My Prostate Checked. And I Was Super-thankful That I Taught My Asshole To Whistle Before The Doctor Stuck His Finger In There. The Look On His Face Was Priceless.

I'm Terrified That I'm Genetically Predisposed To Only Having Boys. That's Frightening. By The Time I Was 10 Years Old, And I'm Not Exaggerating, I Knew How To Patch Drywall.

I'm Like The Queen Of Planning And Scheduling And I'm Trying Very Hard To Stop It.

I Come From A Family Of Cops, And All Of Them Share That Understanding That They Put Their Lives On The Line.