When You Talk Like An Asshole And

You're Made To Feel Ugly, And I Made Ugly Beautiful. Just By Sheer Persistence. Nobody Has The Right To Say That I Am Ugly, And I Will Not Be A Professional Victim, You Know. Sorry!

I Love Stephen Colbert And Jon Stewart Because They're Bringing Irony Back Into American Humor, Which Is A Delicious Treat. The Entire Colbert Persona Of Being Extreme Right-wing When He's Not At All Is Highly Amusing. He Does It So Well, But Sometimes A Little Too Well. My Wife Is Convinced He's Completely That Way.

The Record Companies Fell Apart - Quite Deservedly. Their Corrupting, All-binding Contract Nonsense Had To Stop.

If The Royal Family Was Going To Assassinate Someone, They Would Have Gotten Rid Of Me A Long Time Ago.

If My Leg Falls Off, I'll Get A Prosthetic. There'd Be No Deep Sadness About. I'd Just Get On With It! It's Called Life, And I Love Life. You Have To Be Positive, And You Have To Crack On No Matter What.