When You Slip On A Banana Peel,

I Cannot Understand Any Woman's Wanting To Be The First Woman To Do Anything. ... It Is A Devastating Burden And I Could Not Take It, Could Not Be A Pioneer, A Symbol Of Something Greater.

If Pregnancy Were A Book, They Would Cut The Last Two Chapters. The Beginning Is Glorious, Especially If You're Lucky Enough Not To Have Morning Sickness And If, Like Me, You've Had Small Breasts All Your Life. Suddenly They Begin To Grow, And You've Got Them, You've Really Got Them, Breasts, Darling Breasts, And When You Walk Down The Street They Bounce, Truly They Do, They Bounce Bounce Bounce.

I Am Living In The Google Years, No Question Of That. And There Are Advantages To It. When You Forget Something, You Can Whip Out Your Iphone And Go To Google. The Senior Moment Has Become The Google Moment, And It Has A Much Nicer, Hipper, Younger, More Contemporary Sound, Doesn't It? By Handling The Obligations Of The Search Mechanism, You Almost Prove You Can Keep Up.... You Can't Retrieve You Life (unless You're On Wikipedia, In Which Case You Can Retrieve An Inaccurate Version Of It).

We Weren't Meant To Have Futures, We Were Meant To Marry Them. We Weren't Meant To Have Politics, Or Careers That Mattered, Or Opinions, Or Lives; We Were Meant To Marry Them. If You Wanted To Be An Architect, You Married An Architect.

You Don't Really Have To Believe What You Write In A Blog For More Than The Moment When You're Writing It. You Don't Bring The Same Solemnity That You Would Bring To An Actual Essay.