When You Slip On A Banana Peel,

Oh, How I Regret Not Having Worn A Bikini For The Entire Year I Was Twenty-six. If Anyone Young Is Reading This, Go, Right This Minute, Put On A Bikini, And Don't Take It Off Until You're Thirty-four.

In The Way That Women Forget The Pain Of Childbirth, Men Forget That They Cry In Movies.

I Have Made A Lot Of Mistakes Falling In Love, And Regretted Most Of Them, But Never The Potatoes That Went With Them.

We All Look Good For Our Age. Except For Our Necks.

Everybody I Know Who Goes Out And Plays A Little Softball, They Break Their Leg.