When You Get A Certain Amount Of

My Mother Told Me Homer Ditto Was Not My Father. Nope. Mom Had Had A Fling With Some Other Guy Who Was My Dad. Some Dude Who Didn't Stick Around Too Long Who Mom Was Happy To Get Rid Of. She Chose Homer, And Homer Chose Me, So He Lent Me His Name Even Though I Didn't Have His Blood.

Growing Up As A Chubby Kid With A Ton Of Imaginary Friends And A Cyndi Lauper Obsession, I Learned About Rejection Early On And Was Constantly Trying To Avoid It.

I Never Said I Wanted To Be A Singer For The Rest Of My Life.

For Years Now I Have Run A Kitchen-sink Punk Salon In My House, Called Salon Du Gay. In The Early Days, People Would Pay For A Riot Grrrl Bob Or A Passable Bleach Job With A Mixtape, $3 Or A Selection Of Baked Goods - Whichever They Could Afford. More Recently Though, With Gossip Doing Well, I've Performed These Punk Hair Transformations For Free.

I've Belched A Lot More Since I Had Gall Bladder Surgery. I Don't Know Why.