When Turkeys Mate They Think Of Swans.

I Wouldn't Have The Slightest Interest In Running For Public Office. I'd Rather Make Jokes About Politicians Than Become One Of Them.

Democracy Means That Anyone Can Grow Up To Be President, And Anyone Who Doesn't Grow Up Can Be Vice President.

Maybe We Should Hold The Next [olympic] Games In Afghanistan And Hope The Soviets Pull Out Of That One Too.

There Are Very Few Japanese Jews. As A Result, There Is No Japanese Word For Alan King.

Talent Alone Won't Make You A Success. Neither Will Being In The Right Place At The Right Time, Unless You Are Ready. The Most Important Question Is: 'are Your Ready?'