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You've Never Had A Job That You Thought Was Secure. You Don't Think The Tonight Show Is Risk Free. Especially When You Saw What Happened With Your Buddy Conan O'brien. There Is Always A Plan B.i Am Ready To Apply To The Post Office.

According To A New Poll, The Number Of Americans Who Trust Hillary Is Dropping. Specifically Into A Hole That Hillary Covered With Leaves.

A New Helicopter Service Called Gotham Air Is Now Offering Users Cheap Flights From Manhattan To Jfk Or Newark Airports That Start At Just $99. If There's Two Words I Trust Together In The Same Sentence, It's 'cheap' And 'helicopter.'

Ted Cruz Raised Over A Million Dollars After Announcing That He's Running For President. Which Is Why Today Radioshack Announced That It Is Also Running For President.

Steven Spielberg Is Going To Release A Biopic About Abraham Lincoln Next Year. Right, That's A Good Way To Honor Lincoln – By Sending People To The Theater.