When My Son Said, "i Can't Stop

He Was Born Early. But He Was Born Within A Safe Range Of Premature.

By Shrewdly Linking Procreation To An Act Likely To Make You Stupid With Excitement, God Has Seen To It That Life Does Indeed Go On. It's Possible, By The Way, That This Is Why God's Name Comes Up So Often In The Middle Of The Act; It's A Salute To The Author: Hey, Whoever Made This Up - Thanks.

I Remember My Wife And I Used To Get On Plane And See Everybody Else With Their Babies. They'd Be Putting Strollers And Car Seats Up Above, And We'd Think: Oh, Please Lord, Don't Make Us Go Through That

I Can't Get Past The Fact That Food Is Coming Out Of My Wife's Breasts. What Was Once Essentially An Entertainment Center Has Now Become A Juice Bar.

In Some Cultures They Don't Name Their Babies Right Away. They Wait Until They See How The Child Develops. Like In Dances With Wolves. Unfortunately, Our Kids' Names Would Be Less Romantic And Poetic. "this Is My Oldest Boy, Falls Off His Tricycle, His Friend, Dribbles His Juice, And My Beautiful Daughter, Allergic To Nuts.