When I Shop, The World Gets Better,

I Am Not A Label Snob And Have Learned That The Thrill Of Shopping Can Be Just As Great, If Not More So, When You Find A Bargain.

There Are Moments In Life That The White-chocolate Magnum Ice Cream Was Invented For, And This Is One Of Them.

I'll Show Luke I Can Fit Into The City. I'll Show Him I Can Be A True New Yorker. I'll Go The Gym, And Then I'll Eat A Bagel, And I'll ... Shoot Someone, Maybe? Or Maybe Just The Gym Will Be Enough.

I Can Do This, I Tell Myself Firmly. I Can Be Attracted To Him. It's Just A Matter Of Self Control And Possibly Also Getting Very Drunk. So I Lift My Glass And Take Several Huge Gulps. I Can Feel The Bubbles Surging Into My Head, Singing Happily "i'm Going To Be A Millionaire's Wife! I'm Going To Be A Millionaire's Wife!" And When I Look Back At Tarquin, He Already Looks A Bit More Attractive. Alcohol Is Obviously Going To Be The Key To Our Marital Status.

Just Because Of That One Disastrous Blind Date She Had Last Year, Where The Guy Turned Out To Be Fifty-nine, Not Thirty-nine (he Claimed It Was A Typo. Yeah, I’m Sure His Finger Just Happened To Slip Two Spaces To The Left).