What The Hell Is Instant? Nothing Is

Don't Lie To Anyone, But Particularly Don't Lie To Millennials. They Just Know. They Can Smell It. Be Yourself: If You're Old, Be Old. If You Don't Know Anything About Pop Culture, Don't Pretend To Know Anything About Pop Culture. When You Credit Teenagers With Intelligence And Emotional Sophistication, They Respond Intelligently And With Emotional Sophistication.

When People Have To Choose Between Civilization And Warm Genitals, They Choose Warm Genitals

I Thought Being An Adult Meant Knowing What You Believe, But That Has Not Been My Experience.

Nerd Girls Are The World’s Most Underutilized Romantic Resource. And Guys, Do Not Tell Me That Nerd Girls Are Not Hot Because That Shows A Paris Hilton-esque Failure To Understand Hotness.

I Don't Really Want To Be The Costar Of Anyone's Life.