What Does It Say, 'i Beat Meryl.'

You Look How You Look

I'm From Kentucky. I Used To Be Very Personable And Make Eye Contact And Smile At People, And Now All I Do Is Look Down. When I'm At Dinner And One Person After Another Keeps Interrupting To Take Pictures, It's Like, "i Can't Live Like This."

Where Are The Robert Redfords And Paul Newmans Of My Age Group? I Love James Franco, But Where's The Next James Franco? Where Are The Hunks Who Can Act?

I Can't Hear Myself. I Can Stare At My Double Chin All I Want, But Hearing This Androgynous Voice, You Can't Even Tell What Sex I Am.

I Don't Like Going Out That Much. When I'm Out, I Think About My Couch.