Well, After The Divorce, I Went Home

I Tell People That I've Now Done One Decent Thing In My Life. Albeit Inadvertently.

I Still Think Of That Guy I Was Without A Wife Or Kids, And I Still Want To Entertain That Guy. The Lonely Guy, The Frustrated Guy, The Guy With No Money - This Is The Guy Who Needs To Laugh.

If You Tell The Truth About How You're Feeling, It Becomes Funny.

Give A Guy A Girlfriend And A Great Job, He Doesn’t Need Therapy.

I'd Much Rather Be On Stage Talking To A Couple Of Retards For Twenty Bucks Than Sitting At My Desk Thinking Up Jokes For...well Let's Say A Few Dollars More.