Wear A Gun To Someone Else's House,

Lincoln Emancipated Nobody. The Man Freed Not A Single Slave.

People In The Mass Media Tend More And More Every Day To Look And Act Like Elected And Appointed Officials.

If I Were Osama, And The United States Government Were Actually Looking For Me, I'd Be Clean-shaven By Now, Crewcutted, Wearing Jeans And A Zz Top T-shirt, And Living In A Nice Little House In Lincoln, Nebraska.

Many Individuals Spend A Considerable Portion Of Their Lifetimes In Terror Of One Imagined Catastrophe Or Another. The Classic Is That Your Immortal Soul Will Be Consigned To Eternal Torment In The Never-ending Subterranean Barbecue If You Fail To Follow The Whacky Edicts Of One Particular Set Of Puckered Dogwhistles Or Another. You May Recall From The Great Movie Strange Days That A "dogwhistle" Is A Guy Whose Asshole Is So Tight That When He Farts, Only Dogs Can Hear Him.

I Suggest Due Process, Speedy Trials, And Public Hangings.