We Drink [to] One Another's Health And

Too Much Of Anything Is A Mistake, As The Man Said When His Wife Presented Him With Four New Healthy Children In One Day. We Should Practice Moderation In All Matters.

There Are Two Kinds Of Clocks. There Is The Clock That Is Always Wrong, And That Knows It Is Wrong, And Glories In It; And There Is The Clock That Is Always Right - Except When You Rely Upon It, And Then It Is More Wrong Than You Would Think A Clock Could Be In A Civilized Country.

I Plodded Conscientiously Through The Twenty-six Letters, And The Only Malady I Could Conclude I Had Not Got Was Housemaid's Knee.

That The Boat Did Not Upset I Simply State As A Fact. Why It Did Not Upset I Am Unable To Offer Any Reason. I Have Often Thought About The Matter Since, But I Have Never Succeeded In Arriving At Any Satisfactory Explanation Of The Phenomenon. Possibly The Result May Have Been Brought About By The Natural Obstinacy Of All Things In This World. The Boat May Possibly Have Come To The Conclusion, Judging From A Cursory View Of Our Behaviour, That We Had Come Out For A Morning's Suicide, And Had Thereupon Determined To Disappoint Us. That Is The Only Suggestion I Can Offer.

We Are But The Veriest, Sorriest Slaves Of Our Stomach. Reach Not After Morality And Righteousness, My Friends; Watch Vigilantly Your Stomach, And Diet It With Care And Judgment.