We Drink [to] One Another's Health And

In The Church Is A Memorial To Mrs. Sarah Hill, Who Bequeathed 1 Pound Annually, To Be Divided At Easter, Between Two Boys And Two Girls Who "have Never Been Undutiful To Their Parents; Who Have Never Been Known To Swear Or To Tell Untruths, To Steal, Or To Break Windows." Fancy Giving Up All That For Five Shillings A Year! It Is Not Worth It!

I Love The Chill October Days, When The Brown Leaves Lie Thick And Sodden Underneath Your Feet.

I Did Not Intend To Write A Funny Book, At First. I Did Not Know I Was A Humorist. I Have Never Been Sure About It. In The Middle Ages, I Should Probably Have Gone About Preaching And Got Myself Burnt Or Hanged.

Time Is But The Shadow Of The World Upon The Background Of Eternity.

There Are Various Methods By Which You May Achieve Ignominy And Shame. By Murdering A Large And Respected Family In Cold Blood And Afterward Depositing Their Bodies In The Water Companies' Reservoir, You Will Gain Much Unpopularity In The Neighborhood Of Your Crime, And Even Robbing A Church Will Get You Cordially Disliked, Especially By The Vicar. But If You Desire To Drain To The Dregs The Fullest Cup Of Scorn And Hatred That A Fellow Human Creature Can Pour Out For You, Let A Young Mother Hear You Call Dear Baby "it.