Washington Knows That It Is Not Safe

Nowadays, We Never Allow Ourselves The Convenience Of Being Temporarily Unavailable, Even To Strangers. With Telephone And Beeper, People Subject Themselves To Being Instantly Accessible To Everyone At All Times, And It Is The Person Who Refuses To Be On Call, Rather Than The Importunate Caller, Who Is Considered Rude.

Should You Happen To Notice That Another Person Is Extremely Tall Or Overweight, Eats Too Much Or Declines Convivial Drinks, Has Red Hair Or Goes About In A Wheelchair, Ought To Get Married Or Ought Not To Be Pregnant -- See If You Can Refrain From Bringing These Astonishing Observations To That Person's Attention.

From Memorial Day To Labor Day, You May Wear White Shoes. Not Before And Not After. As A Command, The White Shoe Edict Should Be Clear And Simple Enough. Do Not Violate It. In A Society In Which Everything Else Has Become Relative, A Matter Of How It Makes You Feel, A Question Between You And Your Conscience, And An Opportunity For You To Be Really You, This Is An Absolute.

If You Can't Be Kind, At Least Be Vague.

Many Of The Guests Will Eventually Leave The Table To Watch Football On Television, Which Would Be A Rudeness At Any Other Occasion But Is A Relief At Thanksgiving And Probably The Only Way To Get Those People To Budge.