Vampires Should Never Say Uh-oh!!

It Was Time To Pull My Moral Socks Up And Behave Myself.

It Was Like Being Around A Particularly Irritating Two-year-old.

Pam: "claude, The Mouthwateringly Beautiful Asshole?

You've Reached Fantasia, Where The Undead Live Again Every Night," "for Bar Hours, Press One. To Make A Party Reservation, Press Two. To Talk To Alive Person Or A Dead Vampire, Press Three. Or, If You Were Intending To Leave A Humorous Prank Message On Our Answering Machine, Know This: We Will Find You.

My Brother, Jason, Came Into The Bar, Then, And Sauntered Over To Give Me A Hug. He Knows That Women Like A Man Who's Good To His Family And Also Kind To The Disabled, So Hugging Me Is A Double Whammy Of Recommendation.