Try Not To Annoy Your Relatives Unnecessarily.

Parents Should Conduct Their Arguments In Quiet, Respectful Tones, But In A Foreign Language. You'd Be Surprised What An Inducement That Is To The Education Of Children.

Precision Marching Is Less Important For The Bridal Party Than Maintaining The Proper Facial Expresssions: The Bridegroom Must Look Awed; The Bridesmaids, Happy And Excited; The Father Of The Bride, Proud; And The Bride, Demure. If The Bridegroom Feels Doubtful, The Bridesmaids, Sulky, The Father, Worried, And The Bride, Blasé, Nobody Wants To Know.

The Invention Of The Teenager Was A Mistake. Once You Identify A Period Of Life In Which People Get To Stay Out Late But Don't Have To Pay Taxes - Naturally, No One Wants To Live Any Other Way.

It Has Always Puzzled Me, In My Business, That People Think They Have To Answer Questions, No Matter How Disagreeable Or Dangerous, Just Because They Were Asked. Of Course, We Journalists Would Be Out Of Business If They Didn't.

The Rationale That Etiquette Should Be Eschewed Because It Fosters Inequality Does Not Ring True In A Society That Openly Admits To A Feverish Interest In The Comparative Status-conveying Qualities Of Sneakers. Manners Are Available To All, For Free.