This Is Exactly Why Patrick And I

Looks Can Be Deceiving.

But Then I Remembered Something Grandmere Had Once Assured Me Of: No One Has Ever Died Of Embarrassment-never, Not Once In The Whole History Of Time.

Unrequited Love Is All Right In Books And Things, But In Real Life, It Completely Sucks

They Just Kept Grinning At Me From Over The Stupid Sign, Dopey Because He's Too Dumb To Know Any Better, Doc Because – Well, I Guess Because He Might Have Been Glad To See Me. Doc's Weird That Way. Sleepy, The Oldest, Just Stood There, Looking … Well, Sleepy.

Not Like This Vision Before Us, Who Was Shaking Water Out Of His Slightly Overlong Reddish-brown Hair As He Leaned Over To Lay Down His Board (revealing, As He Did So, The Fact That Beneath His Baggy Swim Trunks—so Weighted Down With Water That They Had Sunk Somewhat Dangerously Low On His Hips—lurked What Appeared To Be An Exceptionally Well-formed Gluteus Maximus)