They That Are Fated To Be Fools,

My Dad Died, And My Grandfather Died, And My Great-grandfather Died. And The Guy Before Him, I Don't Know. Probably Died.

This Is A Thing I Read By A Scientist... It Said Scientists Now Say That A Man Thinks About Sex Once Every 7.3 Seconds. Now, I Know What I Think Every 7.3 Seconds. It's Just A Bunch Of Meaningless Gibberish.

There Hasn't Been An Original Voice In Stand-up Since Sam Kinison.

I Got My Computer. The Great Thing About The Computer Is That You Only Need Enough Money To Buy A Computer And Some Food, And You're All Right. I Don't Have To Go To Premières.

I Can't Be Naturalistic Enough To Make It Sound Real. So Instead, I Just Wander Around Aimlessly Knowing That I'll Be Funny Enough With Stream Of Consciousness Until I Get To The Actual Explosively Funny Part.