They Say That Japan's Rigorous Building Codes

Many People Can't Deal With Unanswered Questions, Which Religion Exploits By Providing Answers, Even If They Are Just Made Up By Someone. This Is Also Why We Love Tv Shows And Movies That Neatly Wrap Up Everything In Exactly An Hour Or Two.

If You Have A Few Hundred Followers And You Let Some Of Them Molest Children, They Call You A Cult Leader. If You Have A Billion, They Call You Pope.

When I Do Stand-up Around The Country, I Often See People Walk Out. This Is A Show That They've Purposely Gone To, Where My Name Is On The Ticket, And It Cost Them $75 Or Something. So, You Think, Wow, That Means That They Either Didn't Know Very Much About Me When They Bought Their Tickets Or They're That Offended By What I've Said. I've Been Doing This A Long Time. Anybody Who Comes To One Of My Shows Must Sort Of Have An Idea Of Where I'm Coming From.

The Clinton White House Today Said They Would Start To Give National Security And Intelligence Briefings To George Bush. I Don't Know How Well This Is Working Out. Today After The First One Bush Said, 'i've Got One Question: What Color Is The Red Phone?'

Edward Snowden Gave A Little Press Conference Today. He Is Apparently Seeking Temporary Asylum In Russia. Because, You Know, When You're Tired Of The Government Snooping Into Everything You Do, Putin's Russia Is Definitely The Place You Want To Go.