There's Nothing I Know For Sure, Because

Contribute To The World. Help People. Help One Person. Help Someone Cross The Street Today. Help Someone With Directions Unless You Have A Terrible Sense Of Direction. Help Someone Who Is Trying To Help You. Just Help. Make An Impact. Show Someone You Care. Say Yes Instead Of No. Say Something Nice. Smile. Make Eye Contact. Hug. Kiss. Get Naked.

People Give Me Such A Hard Time Because I Don't Wear Dresses. What's That Got To Do With Anything?

The Only Thing I Really Recommend, If You're Starting Out In Stand-up Is To Not Try To Copy Anybody Else. You Can Be Influenced By People. I Was Influenced By Steve Martin And Bob Newhart And Woody Allen, But I Never Tried To Be Someone Else. I Always Tried To Be Myself. And The Reason People Are Successful Is They're Unique.

The First Person I Learned I Could Make Happy With Laughter Was My Mother, Whom I Idolize. It Was A Powerful Thing To Realize. I Knew I Had Found My Life's Work.

Leaning Forward In Your Chair When Someone Is Trying To Squeeze Behind You Isn't Enough. You Also Have To Move The Chair.