There's No Way I Can Justify My

Isn't It Amazing That The Germans Call Their City Halls 'rat Houses'? That's What We Should Call Our City Halls!

When I Play Poker, I Don't Like Losing The Pot.

I Moved From Cleveland To L.a. With A Girlfriend, We Broke Up, And I Lived Out Of My Car For A Year And A Half, On The Road With Nothing On My Mind But Getting My Act Good Enough To Be On 'the Tonight Show.'

When I Did Comic Relief, I Did It To Be On The Show; It's A Badge Of Honor As A Comedian To Do That Show.

Vegas Is Everything That's Right With America. You Can Do Whatever You Want, 24 Hours A Day. They've Effectively Legalized Everything There.