There Was An Old Man Of Messina,

There Was An Old Man Of Orleans, Who Was Given To Eating Of Beans; Till Once Out Of Sport, He Swallowed A Quart, That Dyspeptic Old Man Of Orleans.

They Went To Sea In A Sieve, They Did; In A Sieve They Went To Sea; In Spite Of All Their Friends Could Say.

It Takes A Long Time To Make A Painter - Even With A Good Artist's Education - But Without One It Tries The Patience Of Job; It Is A Great Thing If One Does Not Go Backward.

A Vile Beastly Rottenheaded Foolbegotten Brazenthroated Pernicous Piggish Screaming, Tearing, Roaring, Perplexing, Splitmecrackle Crashmecriggle Insane Ass Of A Woman Is Practising Howling Below-stairs With A Brute Of A Singingmaster So Horribly, That My Head Is Nearly Off.

I Was Much Distressed By Next Door People Who Had Twin Babies & Played The Violin: But One Of The Twins Died, & The Other Has Eaten The Fiddle — So All Is Peace.