There May Be A Better Land Where

Think Of The Man Who First Tried German Sausage.

I Also Think Pronunciation Of A Foreign Tongue Could Be Better Taught Than By Demanding From The Pupil Those Internal Acrobatic Feats That Are Generally Impossible And Always Useless. This Is The Sort Of Instruction One Receives : “press Your Tonsils Against The Underside Of Your Larynx. Then With The Convex Part Of The Septum Curved Upwards So As Almost — But Not Quite — To Touch The Uvula, Try With The Tip Of Your Tongue To Reach Your Thyroid. Take A Deep Breath, And Compress Your Glottis. Now Without Opening Your Lips Say "garoo".' And When You Have Done It They Are Not Satisfied.

I Can't Sit Still And See Another Man Slaving And Working. I Want To Get Up And Superintend, And Walk Round With My Hands In My Pockets, And Tell Him What To Do. It Is My Energetic Nature. I Can't Help It.

Life Is A Thing To Be Lived, Not Spent; To Be Faced, Not Ordered. Life Is Not A Game Of Chess, The Victory To The Most Knowing; It Is A Game Of Cards, One's Hand By Skill To Be Made The Best Of.

In The Church Is A Memorial To Mrs. Sarah Hill, Who Bequeathed 1 Pound Annually, To Be Divided At Easter, Between Two Boys And Two Girls Who "have Never Been Undutiful To Their Parents; Who Have Never Been Known To Swear Or To Tell Untruths, To Steal, Or To Break Windows." Fancy Giving Up All That For Five Shillings A Year! It Is Not Worth It!