There Is Such A Thing As Too

The Fact Is That All Of Us Have Only One Personality, And We Wring It Out Like A Dishtowel. You Are What You Are.

There Are Nineteen Words In Yiddish That Convey Gradations Of Disparagement, From A Mild, Fluttery Helplessness To A State Of Downright, Irreconcilable Brutishness. All Of Them Can Be Usefully Employed To Pinpoint The Kind Of Individuals I Write About.

In My More Pompous Moments I Like To Think Of Myself As A Writer Rather Than A Humorist, But I Suppose That's Merely The Vanity Of Advancing Age.

One Stifling Summer Afternoon Last August, In The Attic Of A Tiny Stone House In Pennsylvania, I Made A Most Interesting Discovery: The Shortest, Cheapest Method Of Inducing A Nervous Breakdown Ever Perfected. In This Technique..., The Subject Is Placed In A Sharply Sloping Attic Heated To 340 F And Given A Mothproof Closet Known As The Jiffy-cloz To Assemble.

I'm Half Scotch-irish On Both Sides, And When I Lose My Temper-brother, I Go.