There Is Nothing Like A Good Friend

One Reason That The Task Of Inventing Manners Is So Difficult Is That Etiquette Is Folk Custom, And People Have Emotional Ties To The Forms Of Their Youth. That Is Why There Is Such Hostility Between Generations In Times Of Rapid Change; Their Manners Being Different, Each Feels Affronted By The Other, Taking Even The Most Surface Choices For Challenges.

Shame Is The Proper Reaction When One Has Purposefully Violated The Accepted Behavior Of Society. Inflicting It Is Etiquette's Response When Its Rules Are Disobeyed. The Law Has All Kinds Of Nasty Ways Of Retaliating When It Is Disregarded, But Etiquette Has Only A Sense Of Social Shame To Deter People From Treating Others In Ways They Know Are Wrong. So Naturally Miss Manners Wants To Maintain The Sense Of Shame. Some Forms Of Discomfort Are Fully Justified, And The Person Who Feels Shame Ought To Be Dealing With Removing Its Causes Rather Than Seeking To Relieve The Symptoms.

People Say When You're In Love, You Don't Need Etiquette. Well, You Need It Then More Than Anything. Or They Say, "at Home I Can Just Be Myself." What They Mean Is They Can Be Their Worst Selves... They Always Mean They Will Save All Their Anxiety About How To Behave For Somebody Like The Head Waiter Of A Restaurant, Someone They'll Never See Again.

Etiquette Is About All Of Human Social Behavior. Behavior Is Regulated By Law When Etiquette Breaks Down Or When The Stakes Are High - Violations Of Life, Limb, Property And So On. Barring That, Etiquette Is A Little Social Contract We Make That We Will Restrain Some Of Our More Provocative Impulses In Return For Living More Or Less Harmoniously In A Community.

It's Far More Impressive When Others Discover Your Good Qualities Without Your Help.