There Are Two Kinds Of People In

I Love Giving People Advice On What To Do With Their Books, But I Don't Really Know How A Kindle Single Gets Covered.

Most People Don't Get Lucky. They Get Human. They Get Crushes. This Means You Irrationally Mortgage What Little Logic You Own To Pay For This One Thing. This Relationship Is An Impulse Buy, And You'll Figure Out If It's Worth It Later.

The Children Were Overwhelmingly Morbid. Not A Single Adult Asked Me Where Butterflies Go When They Die, But This Question Was More Popular Than Pixie Sticks With The Under-four-foot Set. I Cursed Parents For Not Preparing Their Children. When I Was Five, My Mother And Sister Sat Me Up On The Kitchen Counter And Explained The Facts Of Life: The Easter Bunny Didn't Exist, Elijah Was God's Invisible Friend, With Any Luck Nana Would Die Soon, And If I Ever Saw A Unicorn, I Should Kill It Or Catch It For Cash. I Turned Out Okay.

I Can Say With A Solid Degree Of Authority That I Am A Selfish Person. I Spontaneously Forget The Names Of More People Than Not, Unless I Want To Make Out With Them. I Will Take The Last Square Of Toilet Paper Off The Roll Without Thinking Twice. I Tip Taxi Drivers So Poorly I'm Amazed None Of Them Have Run Over My Foot While Speeding Off.

As We Grow Up, It Feels Like You Should Either Invite People Into Your Life Or Not. There Should Be Fewer And Fewer Instances Of Friends You ‘can Only Take In Small Doses.’