There Are People Who Study Germs. I

I Really Don't Think I Need Buns Of Steel. I'd Be Happy With Buns Of Cinnamon.

I Would Rather Be The Good Aunt Who Never Says Anything Bad And Lets The Parents Discipline The Child.

All Of My Friends Were Seeing A Therapist, And I Thought Something Was Wrong With Me That I Didn't See A Therapist. So I Went To A Therapist To Find Out Why I Wasn't Seeing A Therapist. And It Turns Out I'm Very Screwed Up. Thank God I Found A Therapist To Tell Me For $125 An Hour.

Most Comedy Is Based On Getting A Laugh At Somebody Else's Expense. And I Find That That's Just A Form Of Bullying In A Major Way. So I Want To Be An Example That You Can Be Funny And Be Kind, And Make People Laugh Without Hurting Somebody Else's Feelings.

I Don't Know Who Had The Bright Idea Of Teaching Pneumonia How To Walk, But I'd Like To Find That Dunderhead Before He Decides He Wants To Teach It How To Drive.