There Are More Beauty Parlors Than There

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!

Space, Like Switzerland, Should Be Neutral.

New Ideas Are One Of The Most Overrated Concepts Of Our Time. Most Of The Important Ideas That We Live With Aren't New At All.

You're Almost Always Better Off Keeping Your Mouth Shut, But Don't Let That Stop You From Popping Off.

We All Ought To Understand We're On Our Own. Believing In Santa Claus Doesn't Do Kids Any Harm For A Few Years But It Isn't Smart For Them To Continue Waiting All Their Lives For Him To Come Down The Chimney With Something Wonderful. Santa Claus And God Are Cousins.