There Are A Lot Of Idiots In

If You Even Think About Asking Harry Potter For An Autograph, Your Day Ends Right Now.

The Cucumber And The Tomato Are Both Fruit; The Avocado Is A Nut. To Assist With The Dietary Requirements Of Vegetarians, On The First Tuesday Of The Month A Chicken Is Officially A Vegetable.

Her Majesty Is One Verb Short Of A Sentence.

Acceptable Rules Of Conduct Were Suspended When It Came To The Spoon Shortage. The Deficit Had Gotten So Bad That Prices Were All But Unaffordable, And Dynastic Spoon Succession Had Become A Matter Of Considerable Interest. Spoons Were Even Postcode Engraved And Carried On One's Person To Eliminate Theft, And Good Table Manners, One Of The Eight Pillars Upon Which The Collective Was Built, Had Been Relaxed To Allow Tea To Be Stirred - Shockingly - With The Handle Of A Fork.

Mr. Pewter Led Them Through To A Library, Filled With Thousands Of Antiquarian Books. 'impressive, Eh?' 'very,' Said Jack. 'how Did You Amass All These?' 'well,' Said Pewter, 'you Know The Person Who Always Borrows Books And Never Gives Them Back?' 'yes...?' 'i'm That Person.