The White House Has Now Released Military

One Critic In The L.a. Times Said John Kerry Looks Like He Is Thinking Too Much. Well This Is One Place President Bush Has Him Beat.

And Ralph Nader, God Bless Him, Still Out There Campaigning. Ralph Nader Said Today He Has Set A Record For The Most Campaign Speeches Given In One Day. He Gave 21 Speeches In One Day. Of Course, We Have To Take His Word For It, Because Of Course, There Are No Witnesses.

Yesterday, Saddam Hussein Got 100 Percent Of The Vote. Well, That's According To Saddam's Campaign Manager, Jeb Hussein.

Anybody Can Have A Life. Careers Are Hard To Come By.

America Online Customers Are Upset Because The Company Has Decided To Allow Advertising In Its Chat Rooms. I Can See Why: You Got Computer Sex, You Can Download Pornography, People Are Making Dates With 10 Year-olds. Hey, What's This? A Pepsi Ad? They're Ruining The Integrity Of The Internet!