The U.s. Is Re-establishing Relations With Cuba.

Jim Gilmore Was The Only Gop Candidate Not Invited To The Republican Debates Tonight, But I Saw That He Actually Planned To Live-tweet It. When He Heard That, Jeb Bush Was Like 'can I Do That? I Don't Want To Be Here!'

Former New York Governor George Pataki May Enter The Race For President. It's Not Definite, But He Tweeted That He'll Announce His 2016 Plans On May 28 In New Hampshire. Well, What's He Gonna Do, Go To New Hampshire To Say He's Not Running? That's Like Getting Down On One Knee And Saying, 'i Think It's Time To See Other People.'

Politicians Are Really Getting Desperate. In Fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Sent Out A Final Fundraising Email To Democrats With The Subject Line, 'i'm Begging.' Because What Better Way To Show You're A Strong Leader Than Acting Like You're Drunk And Dialing Your Ex?

Officials At The London Olympics Will Be Conducting 5,000 Tests For Steroids. Or As Lance Armstrong Calls That, 'a Monday.'

Don't Keep Reaching For The Stars Because You'll Just Look Like An Idiot Stretching That Way For No Reason.