The Truth Is I Have Had, For

I Finally Accept That Not Only Do I Not Understand The Death Of My Relationship, But I Do Not Need To. These Men Were Good And Kind To Me, They Loved Me And I Loved Them Back And The Shock At The Finish Holds No Wisdom. The Revelation Is Not That I Lost Them, But That I Had Them.

I'm In Love With Someone Good And Kind And Gentle, And He's Seen The Darkness Too, But Somehow We've Become Each Other's Light.

There Is A Blessing In Losing The One We Love. It's The Blessing Of Self-transformation. You Don't Have To Who You Were Anymore. You've Struggled. And Now You Can Change. It Doesn't Mean That Bits Of That Person Won't Cling To You, They Will Throughout Your Life, But They Are Now Subsumed Into Something Greater. That Person Has Given You, In Fact, The Most Important Blessing, Which Is They Gave You The Blessing Of Transforming Your Soul Into Something Better, Something More Beautiful.

What People Don't Understand When You've Already Been A Suicide And Pulled Through Is That After The Sadness Comes Fear: Where Is My Mind Going With This? I Don't Want To Die. I Do Not Want To Die. When You Don't Have So Much Control Over Your Own Thoughts, Over The Myriad Voices In Your Head, You Don't Know Where They Could Go.

I Didn't Know There Was Something Really Wrong, Because Everyone Was Crazy. It's Just That Everyone Else Was Still Functional. I Didn't Realize That I Was Any Worse Off.