The Squirrel In My Yard Really Knows

What Do You Do If You're In The Car And Your Girlfriend Touches Your Crotch Then Asks You To Remind Her To Get Kitchen Scissors?

My Mom Told Me She Thinks A Man In The Market Felt Her Up Today. I Asked, Where Did He Touch You? She Said, On My Knee, Bobby.

My Wife Is A Saint. She's Gandhi. She Walks Around In Diapers And Won't Eat.

As Time Goes On, The More I Value Doctors And Plumbers. Doctors A Little More. I Can Fix My Own Toilet But I Still Can't Operate On Myself.

What I Have Now Are Good Problems Of Trying To Decide And What I Really Want To Do Is Good Work Next. My Phone's Ringing A Lot More And I've Got Nine Lines So When It Doesn't Ring, It's Very Frustrating.