The Reason We Have Few Friends In

I Was In My Peak Physical Condition When I Was About Like, Uh... One. Oh God, I Looked Good, Young And Fresh! You Wouldn't Know Me Now If You'd Seen Me When I Was One, You Know? I Even Looked Good For My Age. People Would Come Up To Me And Go, What Are You, Zero? And I'd Go, No, I'm One Over Here!

A Man's Enemies Are Those He Should Endeavor First To Make His Friends.

[televised Stand-up] Never Really Makes Me Laugh. The Only One I Ever Saw That I Liked Was Richard Pryor, And That Was [shot On] Film.

When People Told The Audience That [sam Kinison] Was Good, He Was Accepted After That.

Comedy Is Surprises, So If You're Intending To Make Somebody Laugh And They Don't Laugh, That's Funny.