The Pope Is Guarded By The Swiss

If There Were A God, Don't You Think He Would Have Flicked Hitler's Head Off?

The Bottom Line Of Comedy Is To Be Funny, And The Bottom Line Of Drama Is To Be Truthful. You Can Be Truthful And Funny, But If You're Not Truthful In A Drama Than The Audience Leaves You.

In Stand-up It Really Helps To Play Yourself And Talk About Your Own Feelings. You Cannot Fail To Be Original If You're Just Talking About What You Think About X, Y And Z. Unless You've Got A Twin Brother Who's Also A Stand-up.

Scrabble Was Invented By Nazis To Piss Off Kids With Dyslexia.

I'm Quite Good At Taking In Information So I Voraciously Inhale Wikipedia - Which May Have Some Things Wrong In It, But I Think Is Generally More Information Than We Had Before. Last Tour We Didn't Have Wikipedia. And Then Discovery Channel And History Channel. I Can Take It In And Retain What I Think Are The Most Important Facts.