The Main Reason Women Are Crazy, Is

Capitalism Tries For A Delicate Balance: It Attempts To Work Things Out So That Everyone Gets Just Enough Stuff To Keep Them From Getting Violent And Trying To Take Other People’s Stuff.

The First Obligation I Have Is To Be Funny; It's My First Impulse And An Instinct. I Like Being Funny And Finding The Jokes.

People Who Own Everything Know How To Relax A Little And Bend And Exhale Once In A While, But They're Not Going To Let It Get Out Of Control.

Give A Man A Fish And He Will Eat For A Day. Teach Him How To Fish, And He Will Sit In A Boat And Drink Beer All Day.

If You Take Five White Guys And Put 'em With Five Black Guys, And Let 'em Hang Around Together For About A Month, And At The End Of The Month, You'll Notice That The White Guys Are Walking And Talking And Standing Like The Black Guys Do. You'll Never See The Black Guys Going, "oh, Golly! We Won The Big Game Today, Yes Sir!" But You'll See Guys With Red Hair Named Duffy Going, "what's Happenin'?"