The Key To A Long And Healthy

One Critic In The L.a. Times Said John Kerry Looks Like He Is Thinking Too Much. Well This Is One Place President Bush Has Him Beat.

The White House Approved An Exemption In Obamacare Coverage For Congress And Members Of Their Staff. Members Complained That The Affordable Care Act Will Cost Them Thousands Extra A Year In Premiums. Wait A Minute. It's Their Bill. If It's Too Expensive, Why Did They Name It The Affordable Care Act?

Barack Obama's Daughters Are Very Smart. They Told Him They Will Take The Same Responsibility For The Dog That He Is Taking For The Economy. That Way, If The Dog Leaves A Mess In The White House, It'll Be Cleaned Up By Future Generations.

Kerry Has Already Begun His Search For A Running Mate. They Say That Because John Edwards Still Has $50 Million In Campaign Money, Kerry Might Pick Him. Pick Him? Hey, For $50 Million, Kerry Will Marry Him.

In Spite Of The Poor Economy, Almost 70 Percent Of Americans Occasionally Splurge On Luxury Items -- Like A Blanket On A Plane, Or A Peanut.